Hugging it out...
Back in October I got some zits on my chin. No biggie. I was pregnant. My hormones were raging. It happens. By December, they had not gone away and despite my vigilant hygiene practices, it was getting worse. So I asked my OB what I should do. His advice? Tough it out. Apparently it was some kind of random dermatitis that women between 10 and 50 get... 10 and 50? So, people with hormones... and they don't know what causes it. I couldn't take antibiotics because it would make developing baby's teeth yellow or brown when they came in 2.5 years later. :| Rock. So homeboy gave me some topical steroids and told me to use them until I had the baby. So I did. And it kind of cleared up, but not really. So I kept using it. And it still didn't go away. So I finally got some time and went to see the dermatologist last week (which I probably should have done in October). Apparently I have this and it's DRIVING.ME.NUTS. Whatever it was before is gone and now I am stuck with the side effect of having used steroids on my face for too long. The cure? Quit use the topical steroids and start a 6 week long regimen of antibiotics to control the inflammation. But I can't. Because I am nursing. The medicine is secreted in breastmilk and WILL turn Charlie's developing teeth yellow and or brown. So, MY course of action is just to quit the steroids and - get this -I can use cold compresses if I want to.
Right.
Ice.
On my zit looking things.
Because they burn.
 |
| It burns us! |
That's how bad it is. Who uses cold compresses on breakouts? Gross! Ack! *writhing* *dramatic noises* *squishing sounds* *falling down sounds* *weeping sounds*.
So, after discontinuing use of the steroids, what followed was an explosion of a breakout. It's been pretty intense so far, and there's nothing I can do about it except put ice on it and complain.
Meanwhile, back in 7th grade, Laura revisited what it's like to be a pizza face times 10.
So. Because I love my son and don't want my vanity and temporary discomfort to get in the way of his having a normal childhood, I will not be taking the easy (normal) way out, and will instead deal with having this nastiness on my face for what will likely be another month or more.
Seriously, it's gross.
The end.
LT needed to get that out
This will indeed NOT last forever. I think.
Actual words out my mouth today:
- No, do NOT color on the dog with that oil pastel. Oh, that's a crayon? That's ok then.
- Sit down ON your bottom and eat your snakes! (Snakes are Nathan's word for Spaghetti)
- Stop pummeling your sister multiple times!
Sigh. I remember when I first had Nathan and I was totally overwhelmed. I had someone go with me to the doctor's office for his one week check up because I was too afraid to do it alone. Now, the idea of just hanging out with Nathan alone is like a picnic to me.
Now multiply the situation by three, give it some steroids, a skin condition, and a chip on its shoulder and you've got my normal kid workload. I'm getting better at managing them on my own every day, but I'm still taking it hour by hour the majority of the time. How many hours til snack time? How many hours til lunch? Is it naptime yet? Only 6 hours til bed time.
On the plus side, Katie is doing much better with the whole screaming constantly thing. MAN that girl has some strong lungs, though. Seriously, she's going to be a singer, or a marathoner, or Steven Tyler or something. We've been sticking her in time out in another room when she screeches and does not use the words for whatever it is that she wants. In the cases in which she does not yet have the language for a certain request, I give her the option of asking for help, or saying please. Both of which she knows. If she doesn't use them, or won't use them, she goes in the time out again. So far so good. When threatened with another trip down time-out lane, she usually shuts her cake hole and asks for what she wants or gets distracted by something shiny, or eats something. All of which are tolerable.
So, that leaves me some mental breathing room to begin nurturing these guys a little bit more, and making it less about just keeping them alive. This is a relief. In the throes of baby blues and being overwhelmed with a whole new set of responsibilities, I was freaking out thinking I could not go on living in survival mode for the rest of my life. Living on coffee and adrenaline only goes so far before you start to burn out.
But it won't last forever. I can kind of...sort of see that truth of it now. Thank God.
Happily, I've gotten back into singing with my church again too. It allows me a few magical hours each week to plug back into what makes me "me" and let me re-energize a bit. Much like Celine Dion, I just won't go away. My first gig is this Sunday. I plan to break some appendages.
LT is back and she's bad. You're black and she's mad.
SuperLame Sunday
Dan and I aren't huge sports fans. Actually, that's understating it a lot. We don't follow them at all. We are also geeks. Well, Dan is. I am geek by proxy most days. You can't live with one and not have it rub off on you. So we have a complicated TV set up with all the latest geek gadgets including a Roku box. We have a great selection of movie apps and are proud Amazon Prime members, so we get all kinds of streaming for free. What we don't have though, is any kind of sports stations/apps.
We also live just outside of Indianapolis these days, and unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Indy was the host city for the Superbowl this year. The excitement has been palpable with all the pregame festivities and activities, and even a non sports geek like myself was getting kind of pumped up for the big day.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
So, come 6:15 pm EST Sunday night, I wandered upstairs and flipped on the TV looking forward to seeing Kelly Clarkson rock it, and anticipating pretending to understand why they had to flip a coin while trying to figure out which one was Tom Brady. And as I began searching through the apps, I called out to Dan downstairs "Hey! How do we watch this Superbowl thing?" To which Dan replied "Uhhhhhhh.... Uh oh."
Yeah. That sucked.
So we figured we could stream it online. Unfortunately, so did 111 million other people, apparently. It was buffering almost continuously, and didn't even let up during the halftime show! Apparently, Madonna's appearance was much more anticipated than I would have thought. (Note: I was really looking forward to seeing her shake her grandma money maker).
So as a last resort we figured we could find it on the radio and at least LISTEN to the Patriots get their butts kicked. Unfortunately it was being broadcast on an AM station and I'd stashed away the AM antenna long ago thinking there was no way I'd ever have use for it.
Alas, my technological arrogance had at last betrayed me. We ended up watching a Justin Timberlake movie (no, really) and checking the score online every few minutes. I googled the halftime show the next morning and sat in tardy awe of Madonna's man arms.
Lame.
LT likes LMFAO the morning after
A love "not like" relationship
It's possible to love someone but not like them. This is truth, and it's helped me through some very hard times in the past. And yet, for whatever reason, I'm having a really REALLY hard time rationalizing it with my current situation. I cannot stand being around my daughter right now.
There. I said it.
You may think I am exaggerating when I say that she screams all the time. But I'm not. Not even a little bit. If she's awake, she's screaming. It's near constant. I've never had a colicky baby, but it's kind of what I imagine that's like...except this baby can follow me everywhere in the house and climb up on top of crap and scream from there and fall on her head and scream to be comforted.
I think in a vacuum it wouldn't be that overwhelming, but with my current dance card full - a precocious three year old, two pain in the arse dogs that don't obey anymore, a busy husband, a dirty house, and a new baby - having an exceptionally needy toddler is not something that I am dealing with easily.
I am taking it hour by hour right now, much like a recovering addict or someone suffering some horrible affliction, I guess. It's all I CAN do at this point. I hate feeling like this. I hate that I dread being with my precious little girl, who, when not screaming is absolutely adorable and fearless, and awesome. I just wish she'd shut up for five seconds so she could realize that too.
LT has her fingers in her ears
Flotsamuel L. Jackson
I sold a book on Amazon. The plot was about a woman with Alzheimer's and how she and her family deal with it. I shipped it to the woman who ordered it. It was returned because the address did not exist or was out of date, according to the USPS. I emailed her and asked for her updated address. I never heard back. That was over 3 months ago. Did she forget she ordered it? I find this funny.
So, Dan's mom took the kids this morning so it was just me and Charlie (and the stupid stupid dogs - a tale for another day, friends) for a while. I nursed the be-jeebus out of him, got him super full, and then we passed out til "Mimi" (that's what the kids call her) walked in the door with Nathan and my little screamy ball of insecure-toddler-defiance, Katie. It.Was.Awesome. Seriously, I feel so much better. The only down side now, is that littlest dude's nap schedule is kind of screwed up. But honestly, in the first 2 months of new baby-ness, most things are. Actually, I really don't even start feeling like a normal person until around the 4 month mark. I think that's when baby has finally started really sleeping well at night and is on a predictable schedule during the day. Also, my hormones have calmed the crap down by then, too. Unfortunately, as of now, my hormone producing glands have not yet seem to have gotten the memo that I am indeed no longer with child. I plan to write a sternly worded letter.
I started watching "The Tudors" on Roku the other night. Charlie doesn't go to SLEEP sleep until 9:30ish so I have to find something to entertain myself while I hold him. Since my hands are not free, that pretty much rules out any kind of productive or constructive activity, so the obvious answer was Showtime programming trash television. And oh MAN. I know Henry the VIII was a womanizer, but dang SON! Someone is naked within 5 minutes of every episode and it never EVER ends well. And it's usually Henry. And yet...I still watch it. I guess after 10+ years of only having basic cable, it's the little things that surprise me.
LT thinks it's the little things. *Yawn*
There's no air on this floor
Nathan's taking a dump and Katie's distracted with a piece of cheese she found on the floor. I have a few blissful minutes to blog until I have to go comfort Katie yet again after she receives one of her many daily head traumas.
I had a baby! Holy cow I'm not pregnant!
Having a third baby is some other language for teaching the middle child the meaning of time outs, me thinks. Seriously, all Katie does now when she's not eating, sleeping, or pooping, is scream. She screams and screams and screams.
Tangentially, I've taken up drinking again.
So as I type this I've already deposited my little beauty queen in her time out spot, only to listen to her throw her toys about, and scream about that, while throwing herself at the side of the pack n' play thus incurring another of her daily head injuries.
I'll post more about baby after I come up for air.
Please?
Yesterday Nathan was sitting at the table playing when he decided he was hungry and began demanding cheese. It went something like this.
Nathan: *yelling* WANT CHEESE!!! MOMMY! MOMMY! WANT CHEESE! WANT CHEESE!
Me: Ack. Ok, quit yelling. Quit. Ok. Now. What do we say when we want something?
Nathan: *Quietly* Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
Me: Good. Ok, you can have some cheese. *Turns around to get cheese*
Nathan: *yelling* MOMMY PLEASE!!! WANT CHEESE! PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!
Don't think he quiiiiite gets it yet.
LT does NOT want cheese, please.
Hospital Update Halloween Edition
Tumble Bumble. Feeling humble.
Sang again this weekend. Totally amazing. Totally humbling, as seems to be the trend of late. My background is almost strictly classical madrigal stuff save my semester with the Singing Hoosiers, and the year I sang with a black baptist choir in Seattle. I have little experience projecting in a pop style, and am not that good at doing ad hoc color stuff at the end of phrases. I'm working on making my voice stronger, but it's slow going, and I didn't do much work on it over the summer. I tried, but it was hard to focus on register building with my head in the toilet.
So, I'm back at it now that I am feeling better, but I am totally new and totally green. I kind of feel like a really out of shape fat person that just walked into a gym in LA. I count myself lucky, though, that I'm able to work alongside such talented and dedicated musicians and hope I can keep growing so I don't let anyone down.
In other completely unrelated news, Nathan has started peeing in the toilet and prefers standing up like daddy. It's way cute - you know, as much as watching someone urinate can be called cute - and he loves doing it, and then reminding mommy and daddy that it's important to use soap when you wash your hands afterward. We've gotten him to deuce a few times too, but once he got the toys he was promised, I think he figured he was done and reverted back to what was "comfortable". We raided the dollar store today to buy "poop loot" (a.k.a. toys that Nathan really, really wants but can't have unless he goes in the toilet) and suspended them all from the ceiling above the toilet just out of reach to entice him to go in the potty and not in his shorts, So far no luck. We're hopeful, though.
LT made several references to the toilet in this post
fried Iowa
I don't get a lot of time to myself these days. So when I do, I like to indulge in guilty pleasures. Since I'm pregnant that pretty much rules out most of the things I enjoy, so I'm left with TV. So I did a little catching up on The Daily Show last night, and about peed myself after watching the commentary on the Candidate Tent Coverage at the Iowa "Corn Poll" last week. Apparently it tied in with the Iowa state fair. Before this clip they were bulleting a list of all the yummy stuff you could eat and do there including, but not limited to fried butter and a petting zoo at Michelle Bachman's tent.
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-11-2011/indecision-2012---corn-polled-edition---candidate-tent-coverage
